Stop the Madnezz! A Rant by Ken Duke

It happens with every print issue of Fishing Tackle Retailer magazine. I’m trying to round up the most important new products in a category — hard baits, eyewear, boating accessories, you name it — and several manufacturers will have very unusual spellings or punctuation associated with their offerings.

“It’s Zwamp with a Z,” they tell me, or “FireCrack-er is all one word, and the ‘C’ is capitalized … but only the first ‘C,’ and there’s a hyphen between the ‘e’ and the ‘k.’ Oh, and we call the half-ounce version the FireCrack-er-er.”

Genius!

I usually say something like, “Of course! How else would you spell it?” but I don’t mean it, and I secretly wish the company financial ruin.

If I had hair, stuff like that would make me pull it out. That sort of “marketing” makes things harder for everyone, not just the editorial staff at FTR, where we try very hard to spell all those train-wreck names correctly. It also makes things tougher for retailers who get asked about these products; harder for online search engines that try to find them in the giant haystack of the worldwide web; and harder for consumers who are trying to “ask (or search) for them by name.”

Here’s a tip for anyone for anyone naming a new fishing product — no charge — from Uncle Ken to you: Before you trademark the name, order the packaging or build the new catalogue, type the new product name into a Word document, just like I’m typing this.

If you finish typing and there’s a squiggly red line under the name, try again.

Simple, huh?

If you think I’m kidding, you are mistaken. If you think your unconventional name is clever, maybe even revolutionary, you are mistaken once again.

Since we’re all friends here, I know I can speak freely.

Have you seen the spelling skills of the average fishing website visitor? Most can’t spell the name of their hometown. How do you think they’re going to handle your ridiculous product name that appears to have been conceived after too many sleepless nights in the workshop and too many adult beverages at the watering hole?

And if that average angler has never seen your product name in print or online, only heard it spoken at the launch ramp last Saturday, how is he going to know that Phat Kat is spelled with a “ph” instead of an “f” and with a “k” instead of a “c”?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0iJZ1n70_ms

“Phat Kat” at least sounds normal. What about the names that stop every reader dead in his tracks wondering how to say it? Do you really want to call your new high-speed baitcaster an “Anthromorphodonet”? Is that a fishing reel or a French wine? Is it something that Bubba is going to take fishing or something he’ll take for a skin condition? And how is he going to remember it, to spell it, to ask for it?

I’ll tell you how, he’s not! Even if you’ve created the greatest lure or baitcaster in the world, you’ve made it a struggle for him to find you. Why in the name of all that’s holy in a tough economy would you do that? Are you simply too “stoopid” to use ordinary words?

You don’t want me to answer that question.

Are there exceptions to this rule, situations where a nonconventional and non-user-friendly name option really works and helps you make big bucks?

No, there are not. And if there were, that train left the building with the rise of the internet and with consumers looking stuff up there before they buy. Yes, it’s true that the Rat-L-Trap is one of the most popular lures in the history of fishing, but it had one very important thing going for it that made the name work (apart from being a tremendous lure). The Rat-L-Trap hit the scene decades before the internet. Unless you were in Louisiana 45 years ago, you likely saw the name in print long before you heard it.

Even so, I can tell you that most people (including outdoor writers I deal with) still think it’s “Rattle Trap,” and that’s what I’d call it today if it was a new bait.

So if you’re about to name your new fishing gizmo, please take this rant to heart. Give it a name we can spell, a name we can say and a name that doesn’t send us to the Urban Dictionary wondering what it “really” means.

Have mercy!

A rising tide lifts all boats. Let’s be that tide.