Not So Fast!

The title of this column does not refer to my lack of footspeed. If a lack of something could be considerable, my lack of footspeed would be prodigious. But I digress.

I’m talking about being wrong, about having an idea in my head — a conviction really, a cocksureness — that is absolutely, positively, without a doubt wrong. Unfortunately, it happens quite a lot … and not just to me.

I believe that age is a mellowing influence. The older I get, the more tolerant I become. Yes, I can be reduced to a fuming idiot when stuck at IKEA or Walmart, and I may shake my fist when cut off in traffic, but overall I think I’m becoming more cautious in my thoughts and more tolerant of the views of others.

One of the reasons this is so — and it goes along with age — is that I have learned that being wrong feels just exactly like being right. Just exactly!

A few hundred years ago, the best and brightest thought the world was flat and that the sun orbited our Earth. Actually, they didn’t just think it. They were certain of those “facts,” even though these things turned out not to be true at all.

They were sure they were right, and just as sure that anyone with a contrary view was wrong. Now, of course, we know better. Additional evidence came along and minds were changed, though perhaps slowly and grudgingly.

Something along the order of 99.9 percent of all people who thought about such things believed the world was flat and that the sun revolved around the Earth.

Think about that for a moment. It wasn’t a 50-50 split or even 75-25. Very nearly everyone on our planet believed those things, and they could hardly have been more wrong.

How did they “feel” about it? Well, they felt absolutely, positively certain they were right — so certain that anyone who thought anything else must be a complete idiot!

But they were wrong.

Confidence does not make us right. It can help to make us persuasive, and it can lead to some great things, but confidence alone does not make us right. And if we’re not careful, it can close doors to us and shut down options that might really help us.

The problem, of course, is that being wrong feels exactly like being right.

If I’m honest with myself, I probably have no more reason to believe I’m “right” than the next guy. Sometimes my experience may be greater, or I may have studied the situation with more care. It’s even possible that I have approached things from a better perspective or that I’m more intelligent (I like to believe that one!), but none of those things guarantee that I’m right.

Ultimately, this appreciation of the fact that being wrong feels just like being right should make me more tolerant, more open-minded and better able to get to the right answers.

At least that feels “right.”