Free Monday

I have a Fresh Water Fishing Hall of Fame wall calendar in my office, and I refer to it for much of my scheduling … or at least I did. This morning, I noticed that what should be Monday, September 20th, has no date in the box. Instead, they’ve made Tuesday the 20th and left Monday blank.

Kudos to the Hall (not generally known for savvy moves) for realizing I need a “mental health day,” and I love the idea of taking Daylight Saving Time to the next level. After all, who’s going to complain about losing an hour, when we gain a whole day? But if the same omission is on all their calendars rather than just mine, it could be a problem for some.

Do you have to show up for work on days that are not numbered? I don’t think so, but it may not be up to me (sadly, few things are). I also hope it’s not up to the federal government. My faith in them is roughly the same as my faith in the Hall’s ability to count boxes in a grid.

I’d would love to tell everyone reading this that they have the day off — that it’s a “bonus” day without commitments or responsibilities — but I worry that much of the country already feels that way. It seems we have more than enough people to move even the heaviest piano, but not enough to keep my local Taco Bell open past 8:00 p.m.

Clearly, these are trying times.

Fortunately, the Hall realizes that, and understands that I’m in need of a special day — just to get my bearings, catch my breath, and maybe sleep an extra hour or two. I expect we could all use such a day, so I hope someone screwed up your calendar, too. I think we should all get the day off, and we can show evidence — in writing — that it’s “officially” sanctioned (at least as much as anything the Hall does is “official”). I don’t want to call the calendar defective; I prefer to recognize its genius.

Assuming we get to keep this special Monday, what should we call it? How about “Missing Monday”? Nah, that’s not it. Monday may be “missing” in the sense that it’s lost, but I’m not “missing” it the way I long for McDonald’s fries cooked in lard.

How about “Lost Monday”? Again, it doesn’t really work for me. I don’t want to “lose” the day, I want to “gain” it and use it in some way that makes it better than it would have been.

I’d like to nominate the name “September 0.” It’s kinda catchy, and nobody seems to be using it. These days, that’s probably enough to recommend it as a name.

And while I’m in a nominating mood, how about a holiday for which we are beholden to absolutely no one. There’d be no one to thank, no one to remember, nothing for malcontents to protest. There’d be no September 0 flag to rally around (or burn), no September 0 hero to be adored (and later vilified), and no September 0 statue to be commissioned (and then torn down by vandals). Imagine that. We’d get all the benefits of a day off with none of the second-guessing, guilt or over-analysis. Pretty good, huh?

We just need to make sure we don’t “calendar shame” the fine people in the musky building in Hayward, Wisconsin.

You’re welcome.